Glorious and Free
When did Canadian statehood become a MAGA priority?
I've known for a long time that the MAGA movement in this country had a list of priorities that baffled me. That’s no surprise; all political and cultural movements have priorities. But I’ll list some of MAGA’s. This will be extemporaneous and incomplete and a bit biased, surely—but a modest online journal-keeper can do such things.
A partial list of what seems to me to be the bedrock priorities of Donald Trump and the MAGA movement
They want a physical wall separating the US and Mexico; that really got them excited the first time around. They want to ban people from entering this country based on their religion. They want an amazing healthcare system that erases anything Obama did; theirs should be announced in about two weeks. They want her locked up. They have always had a soft spot for Vladimir Putin and they want his interests prioritized. They want the NATO alliance weakened. They think tariffs are beautiful and should be used extensively with no effects felt by Americans.
They believe minorities and immigrants and liberals and gay people and women are getting things they don't deserve, at the expense of them, the MAGA faithful; policies that benefit such groups, such as certain books being stocked in libraries or some swim club eligibility rules, should be aggressively dissolved.
They believe that a large portion of the federal workforce is fake or dead and therefore fraudulent. They are willing to disrupt careers, economies, public health, and global competitive advantages to find such fraudsters. Their preferred tactic is a genius-level ruse involving an email asking all employees to name five things they did last week; that’s sure to ferret out the fake and dead ones.
They think teachers should be armed; they think modern shower heads are lame; they really hate windmills.
Perhaps more than anything, Trump and MAGA want laws, history, news coverage, social media posts, Nobel Prize award criteria, tax policy, television ratings systems, and even the rules of golf to ceaselessly optimize the financial, legal, and political interests of Mr. Donald Trump. Anything else is incredibly unfair, or so they think.
That’s them; not me
I don't have these same priorities. Indeed, most of Trump's and MAGA's priorities violate my understanding of America at its best and my own values. But I've known that these things are important to them, the Trumpies, even while their importance to them, the Trumpies, baffles me.
From the North comes a new priority
But I honestly had no idea until a few weeks ago that the annexation of Canada was now a major part of the MAGA agenda. But clearly it is. Here’s Trump, earlier today.
He’s been repeating this stuff in speeches, social media posts, press conferences, and corrupt auto shows on the White House lawn for several weeks now.
Perhaps the only things he thinks are more important are dismantling the civil service and appeasing Vladimir Putin while abandoning Ukraine. Oh, and selling Teslas on the White House grounds. But Canadian statehood is definitely in his top five these days.
I'm curious: how long has Canadian Statehood been on the MAGA wish list? I don't recall this being an issue at all in the first Trump Administration. Did I miss it? And was this even raised during the recent 2024 campaign? I recall that when debating Kamala Harris, Trump said he had concepts of a plan regarding healthcare, and of course he exclaimed that immigrants were eating the pets in Ohio.
But I don’t think he said anything about concepts of a plan for Canadian statehood.
Also, notice that much of Trump’s concern seems aesthetic. He doesn’t like that the border is a straight line; he thinks the larger borderless land mass would look beautiful. (I wonder what he thinks about those rectangular western US states!) Are all MAGAists as concerned with the visual rendering of the boundary as Trump himself is, or do they at least agree that part of this new focus is weird?
(Fun fact: I live in a state on the Canadian border, Minnesota. My state features a funny little protuberance that actually was a mistake by the guys drawing the lines that Trump so dislikes.)
When did this become so important to him, and by extension them?
Is this his reaction to the legendary, hilarious, and somewhat blasphemous ”Jesusland” map from 2004? Or here’s a wild idea: Alex Ovechkin is about to break Wayne Gretzky’s all-time NHL goals record, one of the most famous records in sports. Ovechkin is Russian, and a favorite of Vladimir Putin’s. Gretzky is of course a favorite son of Canada—and a supporter of Trump’s. Maybe Trump is signaling to Putin—and yes, feel free bust out the Always Sunny in Philadelphia meme with the string and the pinned up papers and the wild conspiracy theories—that he, Trump, supports him, Putin, as the Russian breaks the Canadian’s record in Putin’s favorite sport.
Or maybe it’s not that complicated. Maybe Trump is still bitter about that eye-bat and half-smooch that Melania famously deployed on the dashing Justin Trudeau, back when Melania would still occasionally be seen in public with Trump.
Not only Trump is narcissistic but he’s dementia too
This utterly confuses me as well. And I would fear for our new 51st state’s cultural achievements. Poutine and Montreal bagels, to name two. Can you imagine Trump eating poutine and giving it any respect? Heck no! And Montreal bagels, more slender and sweet than ours, would certainly be banned. “Only New York bagels are real!” would say the Grump-Trump.
And I would also be nervous about Tim Hortens, too, but I’m not sure why. There must be a reason though.